For years I thought I might write a blog. I’ve always enjoyed writing but I have only ever written for myself or for a very limited audience. Writing for a blog sounded terrifying – my words, my musings out there for the world to read. But then I did a quick google search. According to Technorati there are more than 8 million blogs online and 12,000 blogs are created every day. That’s OK then – I’ll probably slip under the radar – and I can carry on writing as if it was just for me and a few close friends.
So … why now? What has suddenly prompted me to get my fingers onto the keyboard and start to release my inner musings into the ether? The answer is a total and complete change of scene. Three days ago I left my home, my husband, my two (adult) children, my dog, my two cats, my 8 chickens and my rich and varied group of friends behind in the UK and I travelled to New Zealand for an extended break. Whilst over here the plan is to rest, relax, renew and refresh. To give myself time and space to encourage recovery from ME/CFS. A retreat from normal every day living with a chance to explore both the outer world of New Zealand in all its beauty and wonder, but also my own inner world. Who am I when I’m away from my roles of teacher, wife, mother and friend? Who have I become over the years? What changes can I make in my habitual ways of being that can help me to feel more vibrant and less fatigued?
And the blog? Suddenly I have time and space at my disposal. And a need to feel that in some way I’m still connected with all those who are so physically distant from me. And I made the mistake of telling the other members of the Creative Writing group I attend that I was going to write one. And I told them what it was called and how to find it …
So here I am. But what shall I write?
I’m anticipating that the blog will develop into observations and musings about my journeys- both inner and outer. I’m hoping that it will record the journey from burnout, fatigue and exhaustion towards vibrancy, ease and bliss. But I imagine that these things take on a life of their own and I shall have to find out what develops.
So – what of my journey to bliss today? I shall write the truth… I am moving between awe and wonder at the beauty of New Zealand and the friendliness of the people I’ve met, and utter exhaustion and homesickness. One moment I’m sniffing in the heady scent of jasmine blossom whilst enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face, and the next my eyes are welling up with tears as I watch a chocolate labrador playing in the park, or friends casually chatting and laughing. It is hard to be away from home. It is difficult not to have things that I need to get done. It is strange not to have people I know and responsibilities I need to fulfil. But I remind myself – I’m only on day 2 after arrival. My body is still readjusting to the change in time zones and seasons. My heart is still adjusting to saying goodbye to those at home who I love and care for. So … rather than trying to write something clever and meaningful from this place of exhaustion I thought that I’d share a piece of writing from last year about saying goodbye. It’s very personal and it’s certainly not a travel blog piece – but it does give some insight and understanding as to some of the emotions that I’ve been going through over the past few days. So if that’s not your thing then you can pause here and perhaps come back to visit another day to read a bit more of my journey from ‘burnout2bliss’. But if you’re interested please read on …
I have never liked Goodbyes … Continue reading “The Journey Begins …”